I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
