Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
