So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize