It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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