Soap is not a condiment
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
