Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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