thus making me awesome and them whores
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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