You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
