she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
