she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
