I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
