I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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