Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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