Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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