We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
