I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
