either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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