fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
