I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He passed out mid-signature
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
