I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
