it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
