I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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