i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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