Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
