Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Welp...herpes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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