I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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