I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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