My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
