i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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