wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
