I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
