this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Fuck appropriateness.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
