I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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