So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
