He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just puked most of my soul out..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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