I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
