i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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