woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's blow job season.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
