I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
