I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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