yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize