I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
