let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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