I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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