I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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