I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
