i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
