Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
