barbara walters just said penis...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
