haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
