C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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