Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
