I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
