You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
okay pat passed out under dana's car
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
