someone threw a dead crab at me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
