This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
