I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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