So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
