is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
