i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
