Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's never too late to be topless.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
the liver wants what the liver wants
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
