yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
