Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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