Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
two words...techno handjob
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
