the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
