The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
