so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
