GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
