your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
