I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
