i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
