My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
