I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
