Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
